Recently, our son, who is almost 9, is spending more and more time watching movies and playing video games, and less time interacting and playing with other kids and running around outside. On the one hand, he isn't fighting with any of his siblings when he's doing these things; on the other hand, it isn't what we want for him and I'm afraid it's starting to really limit his ability to socialize. I don't believe I can cut it out altogether, and I don't really want to - what I want is more balance. Do I have to link the activities (you get X number of minutes with "the box" for Y minutes outside) or is there a better way to help him make better choices? One of the challenges is that most of the kids around here are so scheduled up that they often aren't available after school.

Thanks,

 Bryna

 

Dear Bryna,

 Several thoughts come to mind as I read your concerns.  First, in today’s culture, watching movies and playing video games is a common pursuit for many children, regardless of diagnosis.  In fact, some kids use talking about common video games as a way to “connect” socially.  Second, it will be important to monitor the content of the movies and games.  Violent images are not what any child needs to see, again, regardless of diagnostic status.  Third, I would recommend talking with your son about the importance of balance.  Time spent indoors should be balanced with time spent outdoors.  The same goes for solo versus group activities.  This, of course, is easier said than done.  It is quite likely he will need your help to brainstorm outdoor and group activities he enjoys.  Exploring options via your local parks and recreation department, religious youth group, etc., might be ways to get started.  Finally, given the hectic pace of society today, sending him outdoors for “free play” might mean he is out there all on his own, given the highly scheduled and/or latch-key settings many children are in--  one way to compromise might be to get the dance mat and game for his X-Box or Play Station or Game Cube—that provides a superb workout!

 Good luck,

 Dr. Fristad