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Caregiver Stress and Compassion Fatigue As the parent of a child (or children) with high needs the lives of all involved are complicated. As one in this very situation, it is all too easy to become hyperfocused, over-involved, and unable to separate self from situation. This is very common, normal and at the same time, dangerous. The very things required to function within daily life of caring for a child or other family member with exceptional needs are able to overwhelm and frustrate. Given the opportunity, these feelings left unchecked will build, creating further circumstances that leave one vulnerable to greater stress at things that are not typically stressful. It takes a very careful watch over self and situation to avoid or address the daily stresses one will face without circumstances developing into an all-encompassing cloak. This can be further complicated if the caregiver has diagnosis(es) or tendencies towards depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or other similar disorders. A very common phenomenon occurring within this type of situation is that of compassion fatigue, sometimes termed secondary victimization or traumatic stress, vicarious traumatization, ‘lost it’ or ‘losing it’. The cost of this can be quite high in terms of functionality of the family, work, community and most of all, self. The first line of action is prioritization of situations we have some measure of control and those for which we have none. Gaining recognition of the internal locus of control, the ability to see problems and solutions in terms of what you can do to change the situation; recognizing what is beyond your control and influence. Ask yourself: What do I have control over? It can be very difficult to recognize and reassign things that previously one thought as absolute musts when, in fact, delay or dismissal altogether is possible. There are even times when a situation in dire need attention delaying or dropping altogether is necessary in order to preserve the ability to function. This is not easy to do for anyone. This does not mean overlooking matters of safety, but many other situations can be. Best kept in mind, many things will happen in life, most of which we have no control. Further, the little we have control begins and ends with self. That between the sandwich bread slices of self is very thin. Attempting to stuff the sandwich full of things that do not belong within simply makes it inedible. Thus, adding responsibility and control over things for which one has no control whatsoever is a sure guarantee of heightened stress and frustration. Just as we all grow and learn that each has choices of how to react to an enraging situation, either with grace or dishonor, so are we only able to control self and neither are we responsible for responses of others. Living with an unstable child subjects all family members to daily trauma at times, for those whose children rage or are otherwise externally manifesting their difficulty in a manner that affects others. Numerous symptoms indicate that a caregiver is experiencing reactions to traumatic stress. In fact, the very qualities that make one an excellent caregiver - empathy, identification, safety, trust, intimacy and power – are the very qualities that can cause one to face burnout.
Learning to recognize the symptoms within oneself that indicate heightened stress is imperative to addressing, relieving and avoiding it. Stress unchecked will lead to caregiver burnout, which can be categorized into three basic phases.
Recognizing where one is within the stages of stress gives insight and advantage to level of action that is necessary for recoupment of self for preservation of a hope-filled life. Additionally, one must remember that stress is not just an event, but more importantly, one’s perception of and association to the event. Attitude is everything. Instead of viewing problems as overwhelming or destroyers of happiness – view them as opportunities to be successful. To help assess the level of stress one experiences in a day, use the following Daily Stress Inventory:
If you checked: 9 or less you are below average on daily stress 10-24 you are within the average range 25-32 you are above average on day-to-day stress 33 + you are highly stressed This is simply one method of calculating stress. One can have a single day of high stress without being in danger of long term effects of stress but if stress is high over a period of days or weeks, that is another matter. It is also helpful to make an ongoing assessment of level of intensity, frequency and ease of becoming angered as increases of any of these factors is a high indication that stress is becoming taxing. The taxing toll that stress takes on the body and its systems is sometimes not realized. Stress can induce all sorts of illnesses and reduce the alertness of reaction and reflex. Illnesses can range from allergies, asthma, cardiac difficulties and headaches to temporary loss of sight, ulcers, colitis, hair loss and relational difficulties. The simple fact is, there is no limit to the potential damage that stress can place on the body. Understanding what kinds of typical life events affect stress levels and to what extent, places matters into perspective. From an American study by Dr. Thomas Holmes and Dr. Richard H. Rahe in 1967 that measured stress levels, a self-test was created. It measures Life Change Units (LCU’s) –experiences that induce stress. From the results of this study, tabulated LCU’s have been able to predict likelihood of stress-related accident or illness. To take the test, going through the list below, assign yourself the indicated points for the events that apply to your life over the last 12 months. You can also take this test online with results calculated for you. Life Events Stress Test
Add together the figures and compare with the LCU indexes below. Below 150 – 35% chance of illness or accident over the next two years. 150-300 - 51% chance of illness or accident over the next two years. 300 + - 86% chance of illness or accident over the next two years. Once realizing stress invades everyday life and is pervasive across an extensive amount of time, it is time to address how to overcome, cope with or avoid stress altogether. Stress tends to build like water dripping into a bucket within, slowly filling without a tap to drain the contents. There are a number of things that can assist in releasing and preventing the built up pressures. Some ideas are: The idea is to take care of self to avoid negative outcomes. What works for one person in avoiding or relieving stress differs from the next. It could take some experimentation or willingness to try something new to discover what really helps. Once found, practice often and journal so it is not forgotten. There is, however, the point where it is necessary to take greater steps to care for self by consulting with a psychiatrist to care for our own needs. It is important that one recognize when to seek professional help. Utilization of the information contained within this article could be quite helpful in recognizing where one is and if it is time to seek help in the form of medications and or therapy. Having outlets for release of stress is absolutely necessary to continue and remain healthy. There are times however, when even this is insufficient and this measure is different for each individual and circumstance. Comparison with another for situation and response is not recommended. It is hoped that through this article, knowing when one needs
help and what kind, knowing how to relieve distress and improve one’s ability to
diminish the negative effects of such is gained. This is no replacement for
professional-help or for use of any kind of diagnosis but rather a self-analyzation
tool. Taking care of self must be priority and is required in order to care for
others efficiently and effectively.
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