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Surviving The Holidays That most wonderful time of the year is upon us again..... long lines, whining and demanding (or raging) kids, too many things to do, shopping in crowded stores and malls, intrusive comments from family or well meaning bystanders, smile for the camera, sugar, sugar, sugar, toys, toys, toys! What can a parent of a BP child do to help make the holidays more sane, and even enjoyable? The short answer would be.... Simplify. Happy memories only need a few ingredients~ and none of them require expensive gifts, crowded schedules, or keeping up with anyone else, or their expectations of you and your family. No one dies if their pile of presents isn't taller than they are. Eating a simple meal rather than an all week long turkey masterpiece and store bought cookies rather than the product of a weekend of baking, rolling pin in hand, doesn't mean the family love and enjoyment is lacking in any way. In fact, it might just relieve stress enough so that everyone can actually enjoy the time and not be tired, cranky and melt down. Take care of yourself. If you are stressed, frazzled and at the end of your rope you won't be able to manage things for your kids, won't be ready to deal with the unwanted advice, and won't be able to enjoy the good parts when they happen (usually at the most unexpected times). Caregiver Stress
Some Ways to Simplify
Sometimes it is VERY HARD to say no, but remember you are dealing with an illness, treat it like one. Dealing With "The Greedies" One thing my family has found to help reduce the "greedies" that can set in this time of year is to find a way to help those less fortunate than we are. Even when I was a single mom and barely getting by, I was able to help my boys learn the joy of helping others. Somehow, being able to bring joy to another person, even a stranger, was something that even reached through to my boys in their unstable times. If your child(-ren) can't see it right now, don't give up. Enjoy it yourself and let them see you enjoy it... it may sink in later when you least expect it. Here are some ways we have helped other in the past: For our family, we also set a limit, one large gift, one small gift, and a stocking for our kids for Christmas. More "stuff" just creates too much excitement. People Who Don't Understand Whether you are dreading getting together with family that doesn't understand, or encountering bystanders in the mall watching your child melt down, it's always better to be prepared. You know it's coming, so take action ahead of time to make it work in your favor. Look over these suggestions for handling unwanted advice and rehearse several so you have them ready to go when your child melts down in the grocery line or Great Aunt Sally starts offering unsolicited advice on how a spanking would "cure what ails him". Unwanted Advice Sometimes, particularly with family members, they need more education to help them be supportive than actual boundary setting. You can make up some information sheets customized specifically for your children. Y can make them short, so the recipient won't be overwhelmed with information, and make sure to include places for them to find more information if they want to. One source would be the Brainstorm FAQ page, and other good resource would be the NAMI fact sheet. Need more help and encouragement? Visit our message board at http://www.bpinfo.net/forum/ for more information or to post your tips on surviving the holidays!
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