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May 3 Chat Part 2 Curlywhirly: My son is 18, but functions on the level of a 10-12 yo. He is on Clozapine, Risperdal, Lamictal, has had 2 yrs+ of CBT. At this time he pretty much refuses to do anything he doesn’t think is important-such as good table manners, saying excuse me, or trying something for himself w/o asking for help. Dr. Fristad: what would happen if you did some problem solving in a calm moment to help him think through what he might want to do to discharge that cranky energy? Curlywhirly: The only thing consistently effective is getting mad at him and yelling/grounding. It’s putting Low Expressed Emotion out the window and giving me an ulcer! Any suggestions? Curlywhirly: He doesn’t see that he needs to change Curlywhirly: and would rather fight for 20 minutes than chew with his mouth closed Learningmom_1bp11yo1: Dr. F that’s a good idea. We did it once, probably time to revisit that issue. Thanks. Dr. Fristad: One of the tough lessons I’m sure you’ve all learned is to subtract the years of “in episode” away from the chronologic age to determine social-emotional age, and 10-12 year old boys aren’t known for excellent table manners. Robin1: we have taught him coping skills Curlywhirly: that is true Learningmom_1bp11yo1: Dr. F, I hadn’t actually heard that before Curlywhirly: but in that case the poor guy is still in diapers Dr. Fristad: yes, that revisiting ideas is so important. They need freshening up with all kids, and any “typical good parenting rule” is exponentially important when raising a child w/bpd. Robin1: why are our kids such years behind their chronological age? Curlywhirly: but I do get your point Dr. Fristad: so if he is in diapers, that makes him a child prodigy if he is functioning at a 10yr old level {:) Curlywhirly: ROFLOL Scifinut: lol Robin1: lol Crackerjack: rofl ***melba19 has joined #Brainstorm Scifinut: hi Melba Robin1: hi Melba Crackerjack: welcome Melba Curlywhirly: (rolling on the floor laughing out loud) Curlywhirly: hey Melba Melba19: hi all Robin1: does all the meds our children are taking have effect on their mental age compared to their chronological age Curlywhirly: so basically we need to adjust our expectations again to meet his developmental level Dr. Fristad: when our kids’ brains are all tied up with their mood episodes, they aren’t available to the everyday lessons of social development, and clearly, that’s a lousy deal Dr. Fristad: I’m not so sure it’s the meds, I think of it more as collateral damage of the illness Scifinut: Do they every “catch up” from it? Learningmom_1bp11yo1: so when they are unstable, they aren’t learning the things the other kids are. So then they are acting younger than they are because they missed developing certain skills that their classmates/age mates did develop? Learningmom_1bp11yo1: hi Melba Robin1: my son takes Lithobid, Lamictal, Seroquel, Ativan, and Synthyroid. He is 11 but at a mental age of a 6 to 7 yr old Dr. Fristad: It takes lots of work (as if you didn’t know that...!) I see kids slowly making gains, but there is often a gap ***faith has joined #Brainstorm Scifinut: hi faith |
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