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May 3 Chat Part 7 Curlywhirly: In talking? Excellent Crackerjack: usually I will give him one idea to help him jump off the platform then he brings in the rest, seems unable to see a place to start otherwise Curlywhirly: but it seems my 18 yo has a clone who is CJ’s son =) Dr. Fristad: that’s a great variation on the theme Crackerjack: indeed we do Dr. F. Dr. Fristad: if the problem is translating talk into action, that becomes the next problem to solve Crackerjack: and I guess that’s where “I” am at a roadblock Crackerjack: I can’t seem to find a way to motivate him towards action Robin1: it seems our kids lack motivation Dr. Fristad: yes, the motivation thing can be a real problem Crackerjack: once in a blue moon he gets a burr under his saddle and will move into extraordinary action but it’s like he’s exhausted all his motivation/ability and he “done for a while” with a “while” being a few weeks to months ***Kodysmom has joined #Brainstorm Scifinut: hi Kodysmom Robin1: in school he is not motivated at all, hates reading and writing, won’t read on his own for just fun Kodysmom: Hi scifi Supernova: Hi Kodysmom Robin1: teacher says he lacks motivation Robin1: hi Kody Kodysmom: Hi supernova Dr. Fristad: does the blue moon correspond with hypomania and the “while” corresponds with more depression? Crackerjack: lol trigger/code words and toolkits, no those have been useless, even when he’s very agreeable when we work these things out, comes up with all the ideas once we reach the place of needing to use them he changes his mind and I get a string of sailor’s talk Dr. Fristad: depression is a crummy part of bpd and it zaps motivation Crackerjack: I’ve not seen a correlation but to be honest, life here’s been rather hectic and I’ve not charted it Dr. Fristad: understandable Crackerjack: that’s a good idea, I will try to retrain myself to chart the cycles and see if I can find something there Dr. Fristad: do you every catch him in small attempts to manage/soothe his mood? Robin1: mine will sometimes go to his room and play video games, it helps him calm down Dr. Fristad: that’s great. what happens if later that day, you quietly comment on how you noticed that he did that and inquire what he thought of his actions and their results? Crackerjack: not as a general rule, he prefers to ride the current Dr. Fristad: would he get annoyed if you pointed out a success to him privately? Crackerjack: Ahhh I think we have come full circle with him, he is self deprecating and to be honest, he maintains a varying level of paranoia at all times and that influences everything Dr. Fristad: the good news is that he is capable of using the strategies--then building on each success is important Dr. Fristad: yes, I love the thermometers Curlywhirly: All right, is someone ready to toss out a new question? Robin1: but when they are unstable there is no coping skill that is going to help Dr. Fristad: paranoia will certainly color your interactions. Keeping a distinction between his reality and yours in conversations is so important Robin1: how do you deal with the verbal vomit? Curlywhirly: “distinction between his reality and yours” that is an interesting idea Learningmom_1bp11yo1: oooh, can u explain a bit on that? Keeping a distinction between his reality and yours? Causes even if not paranoid, teens often have a different perspective. How do u keep that distinction? and what does doing that get you?
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