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May 3 Chat Part 9 Supernova: putting yourself in someone else’s shoes--imagining that other people have different perspectives, desires, etc. Learningmom_1bp11yo1: got it, TY Supernova: lol-no he doesn’t--but he does have his own room and bathroom Dr. Fristad: many sibs like having their parents build them a “cocoon” or “nest” (or whatever image works for your child) where they can retreat when the going gets rough Supernova: yes, he has his room plus another room that is “his” Supernova: the laundry room is large and he retreats in there at times Dr. Fristad: truly, an ipod might be useful. I am sure there are times he’d LOVE to tune out his brother (btw, all sibs experience some of this, you, again, are demonstrating the “exponential” rule of raising kids with bpd) Learningmom_1bp11yo1: exponential rule? Supernova: Mr. 8 says he is most tired of Mr. 11 threatening him (altho things rarely get physical) Dr. Fristad: the everyday parenting strategies that are EVEN MORE important to an exponential degree for kids with bpd Supernova: (I just asked him) Supernova: I have 3 sib and we didn’t always get along--but this is different Curlywhirly: super, what really helped my boys was when they realized that they helped each other when they both have trouble. Is there something they can help each other with? Supernova: they are competitive too-esp. the older one Dr. Fristad: absolutely--its the intensity of the difference that really stands out. How about if Mr. 8 puts the threatening issue on his fix-it list? Supernova: we’ll try the list during a family meeting Dr. Fristad: make sure they all do their individual list first--that is part of the key of making it work Supernova: I should mention that the boys both get along well with their much younger sister Robin1: sibling rivalry with 2 kids with special needs is very difficult Dr. Fristad: and there’s another strength Dr. Fristad: what activities are they successful at as a group? swing set? twister? knock knock jokes? Margo: my 2 BPers are best of friends and worst of enemies! Always to the extreme Dr. Fristad: again, you see me looking for positives to build on Robin1: hmm he got her interested in video games now Dr. Fristad: extreme is the name of the game with bpd, isn’t it.... Robin1: something they can do together Robin1: she’s not much into sports like he is Dr. Fristad: there are some cute ones that are good for younger kids--have they discovered Zoombinis? Curlywhirly: yes, it’s like parenting kids on rocket fuel Dr. Fristad: that’s a great expression! Supernova: okay-C.J. I like your idea of the boys helping each other--Mr. 8 can help Mr. 11 w/video games and Mr. 11 could help Mr. 8 with organizing his cards (maybe?) Crackerjack: well thanks but I don’t think it was my idea ;) LOL Supernova: sorry, that was curly w/the helping idea Learningmom_1bp11yo1: curly, good analogy Learningmom_1gp11yo: Zoombinis? Curlywhirly: np--C.J. gets credit for my stuff all the time (LOL) Dr. Fristad: it’s a visual spatial problem solving computer game Crackerjack: Indeed I do! Supernova: so Dr. F, you are saying that we really need to start nurturing their sibling relationship instead of trying to keep them separate (for our sanity) and putting out fires? Dr. Fristad: I’d do some of each--and whatever you do, don’t lose your sanity {:)
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