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Welcome, to our November edition of the Brainstorm Newsletter. We hope that you find our newsletter informative and helpful. Please feel free to forward this newsletter to friends and acquaintances who might be interested, and please check out our other online articles and information at http://www.bpinfo.net. We have a thriving community with our message boards, chats, and active email support groups. If you have not yet investigated these avenues of support and information, we encourage you to join us. Our newsletter topic this month is:

In my experience, clear and effective communication is an art form many fail to recognize. This is not limited to certain persons or professionals. Many are unable to clearly articulate a message then insure it has been understood. With many coming away from psychiatrists and other professionals with experiences leaving them feeling as if they've been hung out to dry, perhaps what would assist here is practicing some simple communication techniques. My purpose in this paper is that of offering tips and reminders for folks dealing with what is a difficult business relationship with their child's physicians and therapists. This is intended as a reminder for us to take responsibility for our portion of the burden in this relationship and its effect on our children's care.

1)Active listening. Truly listen to what is being said rather than formulating your next statement. When we stop listening we will not hear the message being spoken. Take a quiet moment to listen to what has been said. Your success in any relationship is based on your ability to do just that.

2)Take what you have heard and repeat it back to the person in your own words, asking if you have understood correctly. Repeat this until both parties are 'on the same page'.

3)Ask questions and actually listen to the answers. Again, your success in any relationship is based on your ability to do just that.

4)Do not assume superior knowledge; each of us have strengths and areas of knowledge another does not. The other person will have knowledge you do not as will you he/she does not. Sometimes it will not be apparent the source of a statement that seemingly lacks credibility when in fact it is based on unstated knowledge

The use of effective communication skills is one of the greatest tools that we parents can use in accessing appropriate care for our children. In a great number of instances, using techniques such as these simple communication methods to improve clarity of the exchange and understanding of information will yield positive results for those meetings, appointments and other discussions that are going in the wrong direction. I have found them to be invaluable. I hope this is helpful in improving relations with the professionals treating your child. We cannot force another to communicate in a manner that works well for us but we can adapt communication methods in order to gain the most from the experience.

Unfortunately, in the course of interacting with those professionals working with our children we will encounter various levels of competency in communication skills, professionalism, and knowledge. When we meet resistance from those professionals when communicating our thoughts, concerns, and experiences we often feel misunderstood and unappreciated - which leads to anger, resentment and ultimately avoidance of continued contact with that person. At times we may find that we desire to terminate a professional relationship due to these issues, however, some parents are not in the position to find alternative medical or school professionals to work with their children. In such a case, they are often faced with making the best of a bad situation. Using the aforementioned skills may help that parent to cope and benefit to some greater degree from those professionals he/she does have to work with in trying to meet their child's needs.

Another point that needs to be covered is that sometimes many of us look for a blaming tree when in actuality we need to take on responsibility for some of the professional/client relationship ourselves. Take the high road and accept responsibility to make changes that affect our lives in such a way to gain that which is needed from the business relationship. Sitting, awaiting the other party to do all the right things, pointing blame and finding all outcomes to be the fault of the other person in the relationship typically leads to divorce. Nothing good comes of it. Clear communication is an absolute must to insure the care our children need.

NARSAD is the nations largest donor supported organization in the world, dedicated exclusively to funding scientific research on Brain and Behavior Disorders. One project of NARSAD is the sale of holiday cards made from the artwork of people with brain disorders. You can shop for your Christmas cards and support research to help our kids all at the same time!

Check out our new Ask The Doctor page! http://www.bpinfo.net/ask_the_doctor.htm. Dr. Mary Fristad, the author of the book "Raising a Moody Child", is answering select questions from our website visitors; so be sure to stop by and check out the previous questions and answers and submit any requests you may have.