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Over or Under Regulating Behavior
In your book, ch. 8 pgs 162-163 you talk about
not over regulating your child or under regulating your child. I have
concluded that I have been under regulating my 11yo son for a long time now.
I realize we need to get more structure and regulation in place but he fights
what moves I have made toward that. Do you have any concrete suggestions for
how to get from where we are now (under regulation, not enough expectations
for son) to where we need to be?
Dear Heather, I would recommend that, at a calm time, you sit down with your son in a problem solving session. Point out to him why you see structure as beneficial for him and work out a solution with him for one area of increased structure at a time, eg, bedtime routines, homework plan, chores. I would also make sure incentives are part of the plan, eg, if he starts to routinely feed and walk the dog plus take out the trash, his allowance goes up.
Best wishes!
Dr. F |
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